To my fellow teachers, we did it! To everyone else, I hope you're reading this at your desk!
I want to kick off this teacher summer with a tribute to my dear old dad. We are one week away from Father's Day and I am celebrating him in style...at an airport!
This certainly seems strange unless you know him and know the quality time he has put in at airports all around this world. And, like every good father should, he has instilled in me a love for the things he loves. Or, in this case, a complete disassociation from reality about what time you should actually get to the airport to make your flight.
Let me tell you all about it.
My dad is a Virgo and, if you're into that sort of thing, you know that means he's a planner, he's a list-maker, and he's a "need to have a plan in case the original plan doesn't go to plan" man. And it's awesome. If you need to be somewhere, he will have you there in plenty of time because he checked the traffic schedule and knows the best route. If you just moved to a new city and have to immediately go to your new teacher training session, he will unload the Penske truck with all your things, drop it off, take you to your training, and wait for you until it is finished.*
If you have a flight, you'll be at the airport in plenty of time. PLENTY. OF. TIME.
He has a system, obviously. The family calls it "airport math" and it goes something like this:
Start with the time your flight leaves, say 6:50pm.
The flight boards at 6:20 and you should be at the gate a half hour before that. (5:50)
You have to go through security, plan at least a half an hour. Busy airport? Add 15-30 minutes. (5-5:20)
Checking a bag? Need to get your boarding pass? Add 20. (4:40-5)
Driving and need to park? Add 30. (4:10-4:30)
You should leave your house with plenty of time and you'll want to add time for rush hour, potential traffic accidents and road closures, and UFO attacks. (In the ATL, 3:10-3:30)
Now, I know what you're thinking: what if I have ways to cut this time down, e.g., not parking, no bag to check, boarding pass on my phone, TSA pre-check?
Doesn't matter. The airport math remains the same because that time will be filled by some other unplanned event and you'll be glad you had it.
What does airport math usually mean? It means that this family has spent countless numbers of hours waiting at the airport. It means that if you miss your flight you have either been completely thwarted by life or you don't understand numbers.** It means that I have lost all logical knowledge of what time you should really get to the airport and I just continue to get here really early again and again.
There is an upside. There's always time to eat before your flight. You can definitely get a seat at the gate area because no one else is there yet. You can leisurely walk the 20 minutes to your terminal instead of catching the plane train. You can comparison shop the Cheez-Its at the various Hudson News locations. You can write this entire blog post, talk to your family twice, complete the list above, and still have time to do a few sudokus.
Dad, I love you, and I am definitely going to make this flight!!
-KT
*This is a real life story from Teacher Summer 2008. My dad is the best.
**I have missed one flight in my life ever and it was due to a blizzard, three taxis that didn't show up, a train to a bus situation that broke down, and a frantic run through the Boston airport that resulted in me openly weeping for a very lovely flight attendant who booked me onto another flight immediately.
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